If you’re someone like me who has tried everything under the sun to help your pain and nothing has worked, this article is for you.

Pain is extremely complex and is unique to each individual. As a result, an individual can have a whole range of experiences in trying to solve their pain. These can range from positive, neutral and negative experiences. For example, health care professionals that don’t believe in you and think you’re making it up, telling you it’s all in your head. Then being referred to psychology or psychiatry. Being told this is just the way it is and you have to suck it up and live with it. They can make you feel like a burden to the healthcare system and when one professional can’t “figure it out” they pass you along to the next person to have to “deal” with you. Instead of working with you.

Or perhaps along your search for an answer to your pain you have had neutral and/or positive experiences. I know I have met many amazing people from health care professionals to wellness experts. They have all played critical roles in my healing journey. Over the years I have built my health and wellness support team. That said, I had made numerous gains in my healing however it seemed I would always just get to a certain point and get stuck. There was this point I just couldn’t seem to get past. What was I missing?

Before I continue in sharing how I moved past this plateau, I want to take a moment to make it very clear, your pain is REAL. You’re not making it up. It’s not all in your head. With this in mind I invite you to be kind to yourself as you read the rest of this article and to explore what emotions emerge without judgement.

So what was I missing?

The realisation I was the one getting in the way of healing my pain.

Firstly, I had the limiting belief and fear that anything I would do I would injure myself. This was stopping me from going any further and it really makes sense. I had tried so many things and I’d get only so far. It was facing the harsh reality that what was getting in the way was me. This wasn’t intentional. These fears had built up overtime to the point they were controlling my behaviour and limiting my healing. 

Secondly, I had the limiting belief I was still injured. I believed the pain I was experiencing meant I was causing further injury. However, this was not the case. When you have pain for any length of time we start to get changes in our nervous system. What happens is over time the nervous system becomes hypersensitive to anything that it thinks could potentially harm us or when we’re in a similar situation that reminds the nervous system of a past experience when we experienced pain. How the nervous system communicates this to us is through pain. That’s why it’s so difficult to know what our pain is trying to tell us. Do we need to stop or is this something we can manage to change our nervous system response and continue?

This is what had happened to me. Any form of activity I would experience the same pain as if I was injured. This was a huge “Ah-ha” moment for me and played a significant role in continuing to move forward in my healing.

Thank you nervous system but you can chill now 🙂

Lastly, was challenging my identity in relation to my pain. When living with pain it’s easy to become accustomed to a certain pattern of living. Pain can become our identity and way of life. We don’t really know anything different and it’s hard to remember what life was like before. For example, I believed I was weak, fragile, and injury prone. As a result, others would treat me based on how I projected my pain. For example, as I lived like I was always injury prone, I would often be the recipient of jokes by my family due to my pain and way of living an injury mindset. How others treat you also solidifies how you view yourself and capabilities. For example, I had reached a point where I was afraid to carry my own groceries and so I would get others’ help. Making the realisation and believing I was no longer injured completely flipped the script in how I approached returning to activities.

Making the realisation you’re the one that’s been getting in the way of your healing is extremely difficult. However, this can lead to even deeper healing. 

Now I know some of you reading this may be having strong reactions to this notion such as, “Hell, no! I’m not the one getting in the way” or “What does she know?” The reason I know this is that was my first reaction. I got very defensive thinking, “No, I’m not the one getting in my own way!” Once I was actually able to sit with my initial reaction I was able to see what it really meant. The reason my reaction was so strong was because it was true. I was the one getting in my own way. It wasn’t until I faced this reality I was able to start to see significant changes. I started to do more, challenge my body and explore more. I started doing things I hadn’t done in years. Things that previously brought me joy that I stopped because of my pain. There is no way I would have been able to return to the things I love and try new activities, if I hadn’t faced it was me getting in my way of further and deeper healing.

With kindness and compassion I invite you to ask yourself:

How are you getting in your own way?

What steps do you need to take to move forward?

Namaste.

With Love,

Steph