The current culture and mentality of the healthcare system facilitates a “fix-it” approach when it comes to any form of injury, illness or disease. Along my healing journey I became fascinated to see how I had adopted a fix-it mentality toward my own healing. In other words, I was looking externally for someone else to “fix” my pain. This belief system contributes to individuals disconnecting from their own bodies and an individual’s ability to break the pain cycle they’re trapped in.
I’ve had to deal with pain for years and I have seen all the experts and done all the tests under the sun relating to my injuries and pain. I’ve seen a sport medicine orthopedic specialist, specialized orthopedic surgeon, psychiatrist, psychologist, chiropractor, massage therapists, physiotherapists and had an MRI and specialized X-rays. I’ve also explored alternative approaches such as meditation, acupuncture, mindset and wellness coaching, Reiki infused meditation, embodiment practices, EFT (Emotional freedom technique) taping, yoga, sexuality/sensuality practices and the list goes on. In other words, I’ve tried it all. I’m also the type of person if you give me something to do I’m going to do it to my absolute best ability. So why wasn’t I better? Why wouldn’t my pain go away?
What I didn’t know at the time was, I was looking outward for someone else to tell me that “perfect” thing that was going to make me feel better and make all the pain and suffering go away. I was looking for someone else to “fix” me. It didn’t matter how many people I went to, the feeling of missing something and not “doing it right” never went away. I never got the feeling of “Oh, I’m fixed now.” Little did I know, there was nothing to “fix.” The only person who could create change was me and I already had everything I needed.
It wasn’t until I came to the big realization there was nothing to “fix” I started to see improvements I never had before. I discovered my body was no longer injured. The pain I was experiencing didn’t mean something was wrong or that I was making my injury worse. The pain was because my body had learned it wasn’t safe to move. As a result, gradually over time my body became deconditioned. I had reached the point with any form of movement I would get pain. For example, I would stop walking after 5 minutes because of my pain. The reason I wasn’t getting better was because of me. With all my pain experiences I believed my body was fragile and always injured. I had this deep-rooted fear that anything I would do would make my pain worse. Essentially, I had become disconnected with my body and didn’t trust myself to challenge my pain. I had to retrain my mind and body that I was safe to move. This led me down a path of reconnecting with my body in a whole new way. I was able to explore who I was and the kind of person I wanted to be. Or more rather the person I’ve always been who got overshadowed by pain along the way. I worked through deep layers physically, emotionally, spiritually, and mentally which guided me back to myself and my body. It was reconnecting with myself that I was able to change my pain.
I, like many people, got stuck in a vicious pain cycle. When I experienced pain, I would stop the activity because of the pain which only led to more pain and deconditioning and the cycle continued. As is custom in western society, when you’re in pain you go and seek a healthcare professional. I would see a healthcare professional and either experience no change, get referred to another health care professional or improve only to a certain point but not attain my goals. I would still be in pain and so I would continue my search to consult the next health or wellness expert in their respective field. Continuing on my search for that one “fix.”
Our current healthcare system and culture doesn’t encourage rebuilding a relationship with our body. It doesn’t facilitate re-learning how to trust our bodies and it will tell us what it needs. The messaging of our current healthcare system doesn’t promote that individuals have the power and tools to change their pain. That it is themselves who must do the work to create the change they desire. It is by those who supported me in healing myself, I’ve been able to create my own form of healing. By reconnecting with my body, mind, and soul I have seen deep progress in my life. I have reached the point where I am living again. I am making my own choices based on what I want to do and not by what my pain says I can or can’t do. I have taken my power back. I believe in order to create long-lasting change with regards to pain in our society, our health system needs to facilitate individuals taking their power back and being their support to provide them with the knowledge and tools from their field of expertise so individuals may choose how they wish to create change in their lives. Our culture needs to shift away from a “fix it” mentality to a culture that empowers and supports others along their healing journeys.
May you create the life you desire.
With Love,
Steph