There’s something about the first moment you put your head underwater and your body follows. Into the depths of this new medium. Your body releases its weight to the water. Allowing all tension, thoughts and worries to wash away. There’s beauty in the sound of silence under the water, allowing one to feel as if they’re in another dimension. Instantly you feel at one with the water, with mother nature. This spiritual experience lights up my soul. It is one of the best feelings in the world. I wish to share with you how water became a pivotal strategy in healing my pain and moving my body in ways I never had before.

I grew up loving the water. I would spend summers at the local outdoor pool with my family. When I think of this time in my life it instantly brings a smile to my face and I feel pure joy. As I got older swimming remained an instrumental part of my life, whether recreationally or for exercise. Swimming became a way for me to recharge and reset. I always felt better after swimming.

Throughout my teenage years and 20s I experienced numerous injuries and with them, different kinds of pain. Because of my physical pain, I gradually became less and less active. Along my rehabilitation journey I sought many health care professionals and alternative therapies, only to get so far. One of my main barriers was my underlying fear of pain and re-injury. I had become inactive for so long that with any form of activity I would experience pain. For example, I’d get low back and hip pain within 5 mins of walking. Being in my late 20s at the time I shouldn’t have any issues with walking and here I was turning back home after walking only 5 minutes. I got caught in this vicious cycle of trying activity and then stopping because of pain which led me to become deconditioned. I’d try activity again and this same cycle would repeat: activity, stop due to pain, deconditioned, more pain, etc. 

What this did was make my nervous system become hypersensitive to any form of movement it deemed as “dangerous.” The more I stopped activity because of the pain, the more sensitive my nervous system became. That’s why when I’d walk for only 5 minutes, I would experience pain. This went on for years.

Not only was I dealing with physical pain but mental and emotional pain as well. I was diagnosed with depression in my late 20s. Depression only exacerbated my physical pain and led to me doing no form of exercise. At the time just the thought of taking a shower would bring me to tears. I was in survival mode. To make a long story short, while managing depression for several years, I experienced a flare of depression which resulted in me being on medical leave for at least a year. During this time of self-care and healing I made the decision to leave my 9am-5pm job. I was in a toxic work environment which played a huge role in my depression and flare. I left my standard job to pursue a new dream of having my own business as an alternative pain management coach. During this time of building a new career and dream I looked for another job to support me financially in the meantime.

I was extremely stressed and had no idea what I wanted to do for a job. After many hours of searching job websites I found a posting for a swim instructor position with a private swim school. I researched the company and instantly fell in love and was inspired to apply. I wanted this job and lo and behold I got it! By becoming a swim instructor, I was returning to my innate calling for the water. Starting work I was absolutely terrified. How was my body going to respond? Essentially, I was going from no physical activity to swimming and holding kids for 4 hours per shift.

What blew my mind is how teaching in the water actually made my body feel better, not worse. Yes, I had all the usual aches and pains from doing something new but this was nothing more than what you would expect after a workout at the gym. My body wasn’t damaged. My body began to relax and with that my body began to move more freely. I became more confident in exploring movement in the water. Such as front crawl, butterfly, flip turns and treading water.

The more I was in the water the stronger I became. This was huge for me in my journey of returning to movement. It’s what allowed me to start to move forward and explore movement again despite my pain. Not only that but this was my first re-introduction to the world. I was self-isolated due to my mental health. Returning to the workforce I was stressed about socialising again. Naturally socialising takes a lot of energy for me and even more so when I was depressed. I was afraid my mental health would decline again.  I feared it would be a toxic workplace like my previous one and lead me back down the rabbit hole of depression. But it didn’t. It was a wonderful place to work and nice people. I was inspired by this company and loved that I got to teach kids how to swim.

It was by returning to the water that I began to move freely again, something I didn’t think I would be able to do. The water provided a safe space to play, explore, and discover new movements. I started to move in ways I hadn’t in years and even played with new motions I had never done before. 

Wherever you are in your journey I invite you to take a moment, tune in to your body and ask,

What does your body want?

How does your body want to move?

Where is a safe space where you can explore movement again?

Are you being called to the healing power of the waters of mother earth? What and where is your safe space to explore movement again?

Listen and your body will show you the way.

May you move again.

With Love,

Steph